so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
