her vagine was all disorganized.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
