Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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