Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize