there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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