come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
