so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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