what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
