I want to make a zoo with you.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
