wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
