She said her name was "party"
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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