i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
