My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
