I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
