youre lurking in front of me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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