ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
