Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
