How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
