It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
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