it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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