When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
