wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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