she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
