What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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