so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Randomize
