I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
