Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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