Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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