i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
