And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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