first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
