I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
