how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
