she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
