i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
