; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
