My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
