I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
