do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
