I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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