a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
