This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
