I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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