did you get engaged???
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize