you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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