drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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