He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
