She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
