Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize