yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
