We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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