It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
