physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
