I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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