omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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