i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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