It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
