there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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