My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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