Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
