I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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