Sry I called you an 8
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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