So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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