I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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